sherlielocks: seafiish: fiyhi: spyrasha: mpregbert: people who think it hurts to step on a lego have obviously never stepped on the plug in on the end of a cord ive stepped on a nail excuse you i’ve stepped on a whole goat okay neither of us were happy about that i once killed a man
murderer: i am going to kill you
man: NO PLEASE I HAVE A WIFE AND KIDS
murderer: oh my bad man sorry i didn't know i'll try and hit the next house have a good day
Don’t forget - no one else sees the world the way you do, so no one else can...– Charles de Lint, The Blue Girl (via loveyourchaos)
me trying to tell a story: so yeah like, he said, or no, wait, first she was like.... i don't remember, but it's not important to the story 'cause... wait, yeah it is, but, i don't know man, it was just weird you know 'cause.. i don't know
"You're a good drawer."
imjustonekid: “Thanks” “I practice.”
Reblog if you were born in the 90's & you still...
Batman: Hey I'm going to disappear for 8 years.
Bruce Wayne: Hey I'm going to disappear for 8 years.
People of Gotham: Shut up Bruce, we're trying to figure out who Batman is.
Batman: I'M BACK!
Bruce Wayne: ME TOO.
People of Gotham: NO ONE CARES BRUCE. WHO THE FUCK IS BATMAN?
What if Facebook had anon?
I’d have way too much fun.
male friends: dude
female friends: dude
cis friends: dude
queer friends: dude
trans* friends: dude
my parents: dude
my boss: dude
the president: mr. dude
the queen: your dudeness
the pope: holy dude
Reblog if you have waited behind a door to scare...
asherzombieexo: sodamnrelatable: via sodamnrelatable
Me: I won't let it bother me I won't let it bother me I won't let it bother me
Me: *lays down to sleep at night*
Me: It bothers me, actually it really fucking bothers me, so let's lay here and think and stress about it instead of sleeping.
poptart-chan: who needs the olympics when you could watch the fry cook games
england: and here's a harry potter tribute to remind you all that this is why we're better than you
au-tom-aton: wingaardiumlevi0sa: there were 7 billion pieces of biodegradable confetti, to represent each person in the world. out there, in London, in the Olympic Stadium, there is a piece of biodegradable confetti dedicated to me.
The first time i had sex
buttpower: you never really know someone until you play uno with them and the motherfuckin asshole hits you with a draw four
theoldveins: hey let’s play whERE THE FUCK IS THE MUSIC COMING FROM don’t forget the bonus round where YOU ARE THE MILLIONTH VISITOR ACT NOW!
I really can’t picture anyone having a crush on me. I can’t picture someone thinking about me before they fall asleep, or telling their friends about me. I can’t picture anyone getting butterflies because I said hi to them, or even just smiled at them. I can’t picture someone smiling at the computer screen or their cell phones when we’re talking. I mean like; why would they even do that? I’m...
Hey Theodore Roosevelt, remember that time someone...
pixelated-antihero: crocbonker: alexandraplumpkin: furnweh: Theodore Roosevelt, October 27, 1858 – January 6, 1919 “Death had to take him sleeping, for if Roosevelt had been awake there would have been a fight.” Original Badass. All of our presidents combined can’t add up to how much of a badass he was. TR Appreciation Post ‘12 Not to mention he was an attractive mother fucker. ...
If this gets 200k notes by the time I graduate...
thatgleekywholockianhead: leader-of-the-shadows: thefantasticten: the-smart-brother: ignoratio-elenchi: thatgleekywholockianhead: Worthwhile cause. there better be a damn video i have NO regret reblogging this There BETTER be a friggin’ video I normally don’t reblog my own post but this was necessary. OH MY GOD PEOPLE I PROMISE THERE WILL BE A VIDEO.